Fuck Shoulding

Should:

/SHo͝od,SHəd/

verb

  1. 1.

    used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions.

    "he should have been careful"

Let me start by saying how much I despise the word should. Like to my core… hate that word. The very definition includes the word criticizing.

The world is full of people telling you what you should do.

What you should feel.

What you should say.

What you should wear.

What you should eat.

Who you should love.

What you shouldn’t do even.

Well… enough is enough. For god’s sake stop living your life based on what you should do. (Disclaimer: if it’s illegal.. I am of the mindset that those are the should’s and should not’s that you might want to listen to).

Ok…really stop and think about your life… how is living by “should” working out for you?

My guess is not very well.

And I am right there with you. I too often am controlled by what I should do but right here and now I am saying fuck that!

Enough is enough.

I mean seriously… fuck. As I write this… my husband messaged me to tell me of someone he went to school with who just passed away. It is so sad but it just cements what I am feeling these days.

Life is short.

Fear is temporary.

Regret is forever.

Do you want to live your life actually doing shit that makes you happy and being true to yourself or do you want to hide and live your life in regret thinking about all the things you should have done?

No one gets to decide that for you.

You decide that.

You make those choices.

And another thing… you know what else comes with that feeling of should? The feeling of failure when you don’t do the thing you should have done. “Should” is setting expectations before you even get started on something.

The little voice inside tells me that I should feel guilty for working all the time because I don’t see my monsters… I mean 3 boys…enough. And then I feel bad because I should feel bad for not seeing them but I don’t feel bad. Working makes me happy. Make sense?

I am telling you it is a vicious cycle!

And this goes both ways too. There are just as many “shoulds” in the world as there are “should nots.”

Things I have been told …

“You shouldn’t say fuck so much.”

“You shouldn’t like dark and twisty taboo books.”

“You shouldn’t enjoy some of the edgier things you do.”

“You shouldn’t enjoy pain.”

Seriously?!?

No one gets to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.

“You should really add more flour to those cookies.” Well, fuck off. There is more than one way to bake cookies. Maybe I want them crunchy. Maybe I want them soft.

I could go on and on with examples but I think you get what I am saying here.

Bottom line…there are so many ways to bake and love and live and laugh and dance. Don’t hold back living your life because someone told you that you should or shouldn’t do something.

Kristen :)