Turtles and Blankies

R.I.P. Turtle

#missyou #loveyou #turtlesforlife

Graduating high school… I was gifted a turtle. Not just any turtle. This guy was a Red Eared Slider.

My first pet EVER! I could not have been more excited.

And then I learned these guys can live to be 50 years old.

Say what?

At 18 years of age… I couldn’t fathom being responsible for something for 50 years.

But here we are… 20 years later.

Turtle and I have been through everything together.

20 years worth of high and lows, ups and downs.

20 years of firsts.

20 years of adulthood and ALL the fuckery that brings.

You’ve been dropped countless times.

Survived countless crazy “Kristen” parties. Those that know me… know how crazy things could get. Did someone say Sharpie Toga Party? LOL!!!

You’ve survived moving out of my mom’s house for the very first time and survived going away to college.

You’ve seen all the heartbreak when my first boyfriend and I broke up over and over and over again. I am sure if you could talk you would have screamed “stop it already!”

You’ve were by my side when hubs entered the picture and saw how scary real true love can be.

You saw three pregnancies. And these were not the “glowing, I love being pregnant" pregnancies. I hated almost every minute of being pregnant. Anyone else? I can’t be the only one.

It took me a long, long time to realize what my pull to turtles was.

But then one day I realized just how similar I am to a turtle.

Can you say spirit animal? LOL!

I mean think about it… turtles have built in “blankies.”

Feeling insecure? Hide in the shell.

Feeling vulnerable? Hide in the shell.

Feeling threatened or sad or mad? Hide in the the fucking shell.

By their very design, the turtle is a survivor.

It has the ability to protect itself against harsh predators.

Ok, ok, ok… so what is my point in all this turtle rambling?

The point is this… I am a survivor. You are a survivor.

We are all survivors in our own way. Whatever the trauma or tragedy or sad thing… use your shell to regroup. Use it as a temporary shelter from the storm but don’t stay there. Please don’t stay there.

Breathe and then come back out ready to take on the world.

And as I sit here trying to find the “reason” behind everything…I am realizing that perhaps Turtle dying is a sign that this season in my life is ending.

Turtle was with me through the first leg of my journey.

The wobbly knees part.

The “I don’t know what the fuck I am doing” part.

The “I am hiding in my blanket fort and never coming out” part.

Maybe I don’t need that shell anymore. Maybe it is time to let all those insecurities go.

Get rid of the shell.

20 years of hiding in my shell and 20 years of thinking I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever come out of that shell. 20 years is long enough, don’t you think?

I love you turtle. Thank you. Say hi to Harley and Mr. Noodle :)